Children: Spun Sugar or Clay?

The pervasive politically correct, bleeding heart, liberal mindset insists we treat our children like brittle spun sugar dolls that should be handled as little as possible. We don’t want to hurt their feeeeeelings. Don’t want to damage their self-esteeeeeem.

I say it’s our parental obligation to view our kids as beautiful globs of clay instead. Particularly in the first five years of life before we are obligated to turn them over to the liberal cesspool of the education system.

While our children are young, we parents need to grab ‘em with both hands and shape, smooth, tool, twist, blend, taper, and craft for all we (and they) are worth. That means loving and nurturing them by drawing clear lines between acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Tempering privileges with discipline. Saying no, and following through. Saying yes, and following through.

Clothes, food, and a roof are not enough. Toys, TV, video games, and summer camps do not compensate. Get your hands dirty. Feel the clay goosh between your fingers.

Kids are open and curious. And they constantly test the limits. Not because they want to aggravate us, but because they need to understand what is OK and what’s not OK. They’re learning about the world – their world – and we parents must embrace our responsibility as their teachers. If we neglect that duty, our little sponges will absorb whatever liquid knowledge leaks their way. And we may not like the results. Too many clueless parents do not take charge of what goes in, and then despair over their child’s unruly and defiant behavior. Children may be individuals, but they need guidance to shape their values and behavior to function properly in society. That’s your job, Mom. That’s your duty, Dad.

Our consistency is among the most important gifts we can give our young children. And it doesn’t cost any money, just thought and time.

Nothing is more unsettling to a child than to be able to do something without reprisal today, and be berated for it tomorrow. Worse, get in the habit of doing something over a period of time, only to have Mom or Dad blow their top about it much later. It breeds confusion. Fear and uncertainty.

Strict parenting does not damage a child’s self-esteem; weak parenting does.

Consider this when your two-year-old bundle of self-centered "me-me-me" impulses does something that’s “so cute”: will it still be so cute when she does it as a four-year-old? No? Nip it in the bud when she’s two and you won’t have to deal with it when she’s four.

True self-esteem and self-confidence are not built by having every urge indulged. That pattern is just an artificial prop. Self-esteem and self-confidence are actually developed from having those urges trained properly. If the only things our children experience are impulse indulgence and praise for mediocrity because we are afraid to offend them, they will surely crack and crumble like spun sugar when life’s hammer falls.

(written May 5, 2007)