A Mother's Axioms

The marvel of life is that it is a journey of continuous opportunities for learning, many times from the most unlikely sources. I am amazed at the education I have received from my four children. Each is unique in his (three) and her (one) approach, but their lessons have not failed to elucidate. Often, the lessons seem to contradict my long-held beliefs. However, their wisdom is worth sharing. Here is a sampling of the new axioms:

If you leave the empty ice cube tray on the counter, it will refill itself.

The wallpaper looks much better when loose seams are torn away.

Painted woodwork makes an excellent drawing surface.


Toilets are not meant to be flushed unless the equivalent of a roll and a half of toilet tissue has been used.

Bedtime is a suggestion.


A drink of water tastes best when drunk out of a fresh glass each time.

A phone call for Mom implicitly permits family room gymnastics, raiding the refrigerator, climbing up onto shelves, turning up the television volume, arguing over toys, or any and every combination thereof.


Doors close best when slammed.

All chairs are rocking chairs.

Beds make the best trampolines.

Spills needn't be wiped up; they evaporate with time.


Chore time exists to renew fascination with neglected toys.

Blowing on the tops of furniture works as well as using a dust cloth.

The family room must be constantly maintained at a moderate level of mess to be considered comfortable.

For every toy that is put away, two must be taken out.

Clothes are more accessible if left on the floor.

Church services produce the irrepressible urge to poke at siblings sitting next to you.

Parental instructions must be conveyed at 80 decibels to be heard and followed.

Following hours of after-school silence, the day's routine activities must be discussed at bedtime.

The later the hour, the greater the desire for a bedtime story.


If at first you don't get permission, cry, cry again.

Announcing "Bedtime!" elicits hunger and thirst.

Always leave one square of toilet tissue on the roll. It's the considerate thing to do.



Mom's news programs on television signal it's time for kids to wrestle on the floor in front of the TV.

Light switches are made to be turned on. And left on.

A napkin is always within arms reach. It's called a sleeve.

Books without pictures beg for crayon illustration.

If it belongs to Mom, it's more fun to play with, use, hide, or wear.



WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM YOUR CHILDREN? : )